


repressed memories

by aftertheblooms



Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Character Death, M/M, Memories, Moving, Moving On, The literal term this time, but not really, im sorry hwanwoong, youngjo is cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27829147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aftertheblooms/pseuds/aftertheblooms
Summary: Seoho finds an old scrapbook.
Relationships: Kim Youngjo | Ravn/Lee Seoho, Lee Seoho/Yeo Hwanwoong
Comments: 8
Kudos: 21





	repressed memories

**Author's Note:**

> Shitty title, I know, I know.
> 
> This is my first ONEUS fic be gentle with me besties <3 Brainstormed with oomf as usual LOL
> 
> anyways, it's almost 2am i do not feel like i am human right now.
> 
> Enjoy... whatever this is

Seoho was rummaging through his apartment. Was he searching for something?

Not really, but kind of. He was clearing it out and sorting all of his belongings into boxes. Clothes, books, video games, stuff to send back to his parents’ house. 

He was moving out of his small apartment that held many memories throughout his entire college years, to move into a new one (more spacious for sure).

While emptying one of his drawers, he stumbled on something long forgotten.

“I completely forgot this was here…” He sits back on his heels to look at the object closely. It’s a book, more like a scrapbook in a light shade of green and covered with various stickers of heart emojis. 

_“You really couldn’t have picked a prettier color?”_

_“Oh shut up and open it!”_

He chuckles and smiles to himself at the memory.

In the middle of the front cover is a picture of him and his highschool sweetheart, Hwanwoong. They’re smiling as Hwanwoong playfully pokes Seoho’s cheek for the selfie.

He knows he shouldn't. His brain tries to stop him, but he simply shrugs as he opens the book anyway.

A few pages in, he finds a picture of the two of them taken by someone else. The lighting is dim and purple, their faces illuminated by a bright screen, the picture seemingly taken during one of their Friday outings at the karaoke room.

He remembers that night too well.

They were alone in the room, their friends all left to _“get snacks”._  
He remembers sitting frozen in his seat as Hwanwoong sang his heart out, confessing to him through the ballad that was nothing but white noise to him. (A shiver runs down his spine - he remembers the feeling too vividly.) Their friends were back in the room when Hwanwoong was done - all seats being taken, he had no other choice but to sit beside Seoho, head hanging low. That’s when one of his friends took the picture, Seoho startled by the shuttering of the camera while Hwanwoong was still digging an imaginary hole in the floor with his gaze.

“I still don’t know why he put that one in,” he mutters to himself.

The next page is a picture of Hwanwoong. He’s laying on a couch, acting as if he had fainted. His phone in his hand, screen displaying a KakaoTalk conversation. Seoho remembers that. 

The conversation was between him and Hwanwoong - it was the day Seoho gathered up the courage to tell him he wanted to try it out, it being the idea of a relationship between the two of them. 

Dongju was the one to send the picture to Seoho, attached to a message saying _“He’s not ignoring you, he’s been like that for thirty minutes already. You got him all like this…”._

Seoho smiled at the memory.

The next page was a picture of Seoho sleeping. He scoffs, looking at himself from a few years ago. His black hair was disheveled on the pillows, his cheeks puffed up like a squirrel’s, his old glasses placed next to him. _“You looked like a baby,”_ His mind replays the words he heard when he first saw that picture.

“I did look like a baby.” He mutters to himself and takes a second to look to his right, at his reflection in the full length mirror. He has graduated college now. His hair is blonde - at first, he was scared to bleach it, but his friends encouraged him to and he ended up doing it. His face isn’t as round anymore with maturing - still, his cheeks are puffed up when he wakes up in the morning. The glasses are gone - he had opted for contacts for now, considering a laser eye surgery in the future. 

He sighs and goes back to the scrapbook in his hands. The picture was taken by Hwanwoong, who stood by Seoho through his last year mock exam preparations. He remembers all the nagging, all the times Hwanwoong has whined him into taking a well deserved break. This time, it was after a round of last minute revising - the second Seoho announced he was done, he was tackled to his bed by his boyfriend who insisted on taking a _“victory nap”._

“Those would’ve been much more needed during college.” He mutters to himself with a smile - _stop smiling Seoho, goddamnit, it’s in the past_ \- he quickly shakes his head and turns the page.

The next page was another picture of Hwanwoong - his eyes were puffy and red, cheeks stained with tears. 

Seoho frowns for a second. 

He’s smiling, a hand coming up from out of the frame to squish his cheeks. The picture was taken by Seoho, after Hwanwoong was done crying into his shirt during one of their summer dates in the park. It was right after Seoho told him he would be moving away for university. Even after what seemed like hours of reassuring the younger that he would still come back home often, he still ended up bursting into tears. Seoho didn’t blame him - if he were in the same situation he would’ve felt upset, too. He embraced him, whispering quiet words along the lines of _“it’ll be okay”, “we’ll make this work”._

When they pulled away, Hwanwoong was still sniffling. Seoho couldn’t help but smile at the smaller’s face. _“Feel better now?”_ He had asked, giggling when Hwanwoong shook his head while pouting. _“You’re so cute, you know that right?”_ He bursted into a fit of laughter after Hwanwoong had whined _“I’m not cute!”_

Moments like these didn’t happen often, so he grabbed the camera and took a picture. He giggled. _“It’ll go into the scrapbook.”_ He said.

Seoho lets out a shaky breath he didn’t know he was holding. “It’s getting too much,” he says to himself and chuckles nervously. He runs a hand through his hair before turning the page.

The next page didn’t seem like it would be any special - a selfie of the two boys at an arcade, Seoho smiling widely, so widely his eyes disappeared, a pink shade of blush spreading on his cheeks.

It wasn’t a simple arcade date, Seoho remembers. It was the first time they exchanged the infamous words _“I love you”._

It was during a heated match of Mario Kart.  
_“Seoho?”_ Hwanwoong asked after the long silence of the race. Seoho hummed, letting Hwanwoong know he was listening without taking his eyes off the screen.

_“I love you.”_

Seoho froze. He turned to face Hwanwoong, choosing to ignore the sound of defeat the game made. He looked at Hwanwoong, eyes wide from shock. He frowned when he saw Hwanwoong wear the mischievous grin he knew so well. _“You said that only to make me lose the game, right?”_ He said with an accusatory tone.

_“Partly.”_ Hwanwoong admitted. _“I wasn’t lying, though. I love you, Seoho. I realized it just now, and it was so overwhelming that I needed to let it out.”_ He watched as Seoho sat in silence. _“You don’t have to say it ba-”_

_“I love you too.”_ Seoho cut him off.

Seoho feels the tears build up, threatening to fall. All the memories came back, and with all those memories came a final one.

He silently hopes there is another page full of memories for him to remember. He takes another breath, a shaky hand coming to turn the page.

_Nothing._

There is nothing.

The page is empty.

_“Stay safe, okay?”_ Seoho said as they had to part ways. _“Text me when you get home.”_ He smiles one last time when Hwanwoong nods. _“I love you.”_ He says again, and his heart is full when the younger smiles at those words. He then turns his back to leave.

It was the last time he had seen Hwanwoong.

He never got a text. He worried all morning, pacing in his room, until he got a call. 

_“Have you seen the news?”_ Geonhak asked through the phone. Seoho answered with a simple _‘no’. “I think you should.”_ Geonhak said, and Seoho swore he hasn’t heard his friend be that serious before. 

He ran to turn on the TV to the news channel. The screen displayed a headline that made Seoho’s world stop.

**__**

_“Drunk Driving: victim dies, driver is rushed to the hospital.”_

He raised an eyebrow. _“What’s with-”_

 _“The victim, a student named Yeo Hwanwoong, has died on the spot.”_ The anchor’s voice resonates through the silent apartment.

Seoho dropped his phone, then his knees dropped to the floor. He could faintly hear Geonhak’s voice, who seemed to be saying _“Dude, I’m so, so sorry, I’ll be there in ten-”_

The tears fell.

The tears still fall.

Seoho lets them fall, lets them stain the empty page of the scrapbook, lets them create a new memory.

He quickly closes the book and wipes his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie when he hears the door open. “Seoho, are you okay?” A voice laced with concern speaks up.

He turns around to meet eyes with his boyfriend of soon two years. “Hi, Youngjo.” He says with a smile. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Youngjo frowns, not reassured. “Are you sure?” He asks. “You cried.”

Seoho looks back at his hands. “Yeah, trust me.” He mutters and carefully places the book in the _‘to mom and dad’_ box.

He feels a pair of arms wrap around him from behind, a head rests on his shoulder. “You can always talk to me about anything, you know?” 

Seoho smiles. “I know,” he brings a hand of his to meet Youngjo’s. “It just brought back a lot of memories I tried to repress,” 

He sighs, looking at their reflection in the mirror. “I still love him, Youngjo.”

The older follows Seoho’s gaze and nods. “I know.”

Seoho locks eyes with him through the mirror. “And I love you, Youngjo.”

Youngjo smiles. “I know.” 

“You’re okay with that?” Seoho asks.

“Of course.” Youngjo breaks eye contact, only to look at Seoho’s side instead of the mirror. 

Seoho turns his head to meet Youngjo’s eyes again. “Thank you.” He whispers before softly pressing their lips together. 

They’re smiling when they pull away. “Let’s get back to work, shall we? We’re almost done.” Youngjo suggests. “I’ll be in the kitchen, if you need me.”

Seoho nods. “Good idea.” When Youngjo leaves the room, he looks at the box with the scrapbook laying on top of it. He sighs in content and closes the box, sealing it with tape.

“Youngjo,” Seoho calls out, entering the living room.

The older turns in his direction and hums. “You’re finished?” He asks and the blonde nods.

“We should make one of those for us.” Seoho blurts out.

“One of what?” Youngjo asks, holding a box to place it in the truck they rented for the moving process.

Seoho pulls out a camera and quickly snaps a picture of his boyfriend. “A scrapbook of our memories together.” He giggles as the film he’s holding dries.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading MWAH <3 kudos are appreciated i guess
> 
> (yes the italics are supposed to be *sighs* memories)
> 
> fun fact: i spinned a wheel to pick the characters that are Not Seoho. i'm so sorry keonhee i will redeem myself i love you. (feel free to check out my fic [vampires will never hurt you](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27288742) for a vampire keonhee cameo 😎)


End file.
